Mommy's Little Man

Bg,

As I watched you play your second last softball game of the season tonight, I found myself drifting back 18 years in time to your first season of t-ball. As a fan of the Blue Jays, you were so excited when we asked you if you wanted to "play ball."

Your first year was an indoor parks and rec program. I'll never forget your very first day ... your hearing problem resulted in you not being able to pronounce some of your words properly. Unfortunately your name was one of your most difficult to pronounce. When your coach went around the circle asking everyone to introduce themselves, you told the group your name was Mandon and without hesitation your coach replied "nice to meet you Mandon." You were so upset. We spent the entire next week practicing and the following week you told everyone your name was Brandon and then so proudly turned to me and said "right, Mommy?"

You were so focused that year. You would smack that ball off the tee with everything you had in you ... and then knock everyone down as you ran to get "your ball." We tried so hard to get you to understand that you were supposed to run to first base after hitting the ball. As far as you were concerned, you hit the ball and so you had to run to pick up the ball. You were so much bigger then the rest of the kids and you were quite prepared to run over anyone who got in your way.

You were very proud; and I was even prouder.

You've come a long way since then, even reaching Nationals in 2004. I was as proud tonight watching you strike out in your Men's League, as I was at Nationals and all the way back to that first year of t-ball.

Tomorrow I will watch your final game of this season, and look forward to another trip down memory lane.

Mother / Son Time.

Ill keep it short and sweet tonight; I've been up late the last 3 nights on evony.com.

Had a surprise visit tonight from my son and before I knew it we were on our way to his place for dinner and to hang out for the evening. Everyone else was out for the evening; peach, gingo and pudge were at baseball - lou is at her friends cottage for the week and george was at work.

Hanging out at bg's kept me from wasting more time online, and we got to spend some time together which we haven't done since he moved out in February.

Thanks kiddo! I enjoyed our visit. Love you.

#73: Write about the best day you ever spent with your mom.

Wow. This one's a tough one.

Having never been close to Gramma growing up, we didn't spend a lot of time together. It's only been in the last few years as you guys have gotten older that Gramma and I have what could actually be called "a relationship."

I guess if I had to pick a day, it would be the first day I really started to understand her. The day I became a mother. When I became pregnant at 18, Gramma was, to say the least, upset. She became pregnant with me at a young age and of course had hoped I would learn from her mistakes. I, on the other hand, liked to challenge authority and prove it was "my life; my choice." However, as someone told me early in my pregnancy, a baby brings it's own love - and sure enough, by the time I was ready to give birth Gramma was excited at the arrival of the new baby.

Mid way through my pregnancy, bg's father and I had already parted and gone our separate ways. My best friend's mother had been very supportive to both me and Gramma during this time and had graciously accepted my request to be my labour coach. She went to the birthing classes with me and arrived at the hospital ready to do her job when the big moment arrived. Gramma didn't leave my side during the entire labour and when it came time to be taken to the delivery room, Marianne leaned down and gave me a hug. She told me she would absolutely follow through with what she had agreed to do 6 months prior .... but told me that my mom really wanted to be there with me. She asked me if that was ok, and to be honest at that particular moment I really didn't care. I was in too much pain to worry about who came into the delivery room and who waited outside.

I just wanted that baby out!

Gramma did come in with me, and we cried together after the birth of my first born.

For as much as I had been warned, my life really did change on March 14th, 1988. Slowly, and with a lot of resistance at times, I started to see Gramma differently from that day forward. Understand her a little more.

Respect her a lot more. Love her, for perhaps, the first time.

The best day ever spent with my mom.

8 months - in a nutshell

In no particular order, the following has defined the last 8 months of my life:

• DOODLEBUGZ - we adopted a new baby into our family! A 10 pound, 15 month old yappy, furry mixed breed baby. She's a Maltese Shih-tzu, and she's amazing.
• MBSR - Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. A.K.A my new best friend. Not only has the practice taken my blood pressure from an average of 169/95 to 117/75, it has also given me the luxury of getting to know ME again. Perhaps, even for the first time.
• GEORGE - my eldest daughter. 17 going on 40. She has challenged me the most during the last few months. She's recently returned home after having been asked, not so politely, to leave in January. I swear it would be less painful to repeatedly smash my head against the corner of a brick wall. Please God, give me strength. I still have 3 girls coming up behind her.
• A NEW BEGINNING - after a period of feeling isolated and miles away from my husband, a mutual re-commitment to each other.
• ANOTHER NEW BEGINNING - after a 25+ year separation, my (step)dad's kids from his first marriage have made contact and want to re-connect with (their) our dad. It's been a new and exciting time. We can not erase the hurts of divorce and absence, but we can maturely take one day at a time and move forward from here. Welcome home Sam and Toni.
• BG - my first born, and only son moved out in February and has begun his life with his girlfriend of 5 years. I miss his presence; our conversations. I'm excited though for this new phase of his life and wish him and Megz all the best.
• HEALTH - I've faced a few challenges over the last few months. It's given me a renewed determination to shed these pounds. I owe it to myself and my children to take care of myself. I want to be here for them. I want to live to see, and enjoy, my grandchildren.

I'm sure more will come to me as soon as I climb into bed tonight and close my eyes. I've made a commitment to start to write again, so hopefully I won't go another 8 months between posts.