#5: Describe your wedding

December 31, 1992.

New Year's Eve. I jokingly told Peach we'd get married on New Year's Eve so he'd have no trouble remembering the date. The real reason I picked the date was so the entire world would celebrate our anniversary every year. ;)

#33. Describe a favourite childhood friend.

My best childhood friend was Stacey.

We met at age 11 when my family made the move from the city. We had everything in common ... from the way we wore our hair, to our glasses, to our likes in boys, our classes at school; anything you can think of. Everyone thought we were sisters - some even asked if we were twins.

Rethinking Needed.

I think I need to take a look at my reasons for wanting to do this.

I've really been cheating on these blogs lately ... posting just for the sake of posting without any real thought or commitment offered. That's not where I wanted to be, and certainly not what I wanted to do. I find I'm not sitting down to do it until after 11 at night, and hurried to try and just "get something in" before midnight.

Kind of like what I'm doing now.

My plan all along for today was to mark a tragic 13th anniversary ... but again, I haven't left myself enough time to give it the attention it deserves.

I think I need to take some time to rethink my thoughts. I may or may not have a post tomorrow. I've made a promise to myself that unless I have something worthwhile to contribute, I'm not going to post.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

A Better (Happy Birthday George) Day

A good night's sleep, a gorgeous fall morning, hugs for my family and a birthday to celebrate all add up to a better day.

I often wonder why we take our moods out on those we love most and are closest to, but then again that right there is the answer to my own question. I guess on some subconscious level we know we can. Not meaning to be intentionally hurtful with each other, but just knowing that there isn't anything we can't rely on each other for. As much as I don't like to be disrespected by my children, if one of them came up to me and said "mom, I'm really angry right now and I need to get it out or I feel like I'll explode - can I yell at you and cry?" ..... I'd say of course you can. You can always come to me. I'll help you feel better any way I can.

I know, that sounds completely crazy, doesn't it?

Anyway, today was a day to celebrate. George is 18. We had a wonderful family dinner together. I am thankful that we all had the chance to be together tonight.

Is it a Full Moon?

Everyone seems to be on edge around here. Stressed. Defensive.

I know we've all been stressing over the start of school. For me, I've got to fight to get the girls out of bed in the morning before I leave for work. Get them back into a routine at night for homework. Get them into bed at a decent time after a summer of later bedtimes. For the girls, of course, it's all hype and drama with who's in who's class; what teachers do they have? What do I wear today? I hate my hair! She took my sweater! And the list goes on (and on, and on).

I've been bitchy, and pms'ing in addition to stressed and on edge. Tonight I snapped on Lou, and now that I've calmed down I feel bad - though at the moment I felt completely justified. It's George's birthday tomorrow and Lou's on the 25th. Both of them want the 8 gig Ipod Touch. It's more money than we spend on them on their birthdays but since it's the only thing they are each asking for my mom and my sister said they would put their money in with ours and then they could each get one. So that was the plan. Of course, I didn't want Lou to know we were getting one for George or she would know she was also getting on. So I asked her if she would come out with me to look at clothes for George for her birthday. She yelled at me and told me - no she "warned" me that if she didn't get her ipod touch for her birthday she would have "the biggest meltdown I've ever seen!"

That pi$$ed me off. Don't you dare threaten me and tell me I had better do something. That just makes me want to show you I don't have to, and in this case get you nothing for your birthday. Annoyed, I continued on with the evening and we picked her up after work and had to make a couple of quick stops on the way home so she was with us. She was hungry after just finishing work and wanted us to stop and buy her some chicken nuggets from McDonald's. At first her dad told her no. She said she had a coupon for buy one get one free and asked again if he would please take her. I guess that reminded her dad that he also had some McDonald's coupons and since we hadn't had supper he would use one of his 2 can dine coupons and get something for both Lou and I. Well no, she wanted both nugget meals; said 6 nuggets and fries wouldn't be enough for her. Peach told her he didn't have much money on him and if he used her coupons and got her both meals he couldn't get me one. At that point, she became pi$$y.

Now, it really wasn't about me not getting McD's. I shouldn't be eating it anyway; nor eating at that time of night. But what got to me was her demanding attitude and the fact that getting something wasn't good enough unless she was getting exactly what she wanted. Someone offering to buy her a six nugget meal with fries and a drink wasn't enough for her .... she wanted the free extra meal as well.

I stewed about it while she ate her meal, and after she was finished I cleared the air; vented as I like to call it. She can be so sweet and thoughtful at times, and then so demanding, rude and selfish at other times. Like a completely different person. I know they will behave and react the way we allow them to; and I really would like to think I've taught her better than that. Taught all of them better than that. Like I said, I feel a little differently now. I haven't changed my thoughts and opinions but feel I could have handled it a little better than yelling at her.

But I also regret having bought her anything. I should have said if 6 nuggets aren't enough you get nothing and left the drive through. Again, my giving in to her will only encourage similar behaviour in the future. I need to wait until we've both calmed down some, and then try to have a calm and mature talk with her.

Wish us both luck.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

Can you hear me singing?

I can be honest here, my singing is easier on the ears then my dance moves are on the eyes!

Yes, tomorrow all my (not-so-little) kidlets go back to school. Grade 7 for Gingo, Grade 8 for Pudge, Grade 11 for Lou and Grade 12 for George. George should have graduated last year, but unfortunately her social life got in the way of school and so her studies fell by the wayside. She's in a new school this year so we hopefully won't have the same trouble. She'll also be under the watchful eye of her sister Lou. For grades 9-12(a) she went to a performing arts school and not her home high school. I wish she had graduated from the program, but she had been told her education had to come before performing, and if she couldn't do both I would pull her out of the program so she could (and would) concentrate on school. Lou and George have actually started getting along in the last few months, which I am so thankful for. It's nice to know they have eachother to confide in and look out for one another.

It's also a new school for Gingo, going to junior high. Being only one year younger then Pudge, they've spent most of their time together. I think they're looking forward to being at the same school together again. They do have their fights, but they are close and when one is not home or upset the other is lost. They too, confide in one another and look out for eachother.

So the lunches are made. The backpacks are packed. The first-day outfits have been selected. The kids are ready and mostly excited about the new school year.

And I'm dancing and singing, "it's the most wonderful time ....."

Back to School Shopping

So, shopping today was like Christmas shopping in September. The stores were insane! And obviously I was insane for being out in them.

The girls had a couple of gift cards to use, so I foolishly took them out when I went shopping for groceries. It's been a long time since I took the kids grocery shopping. Usually, that's been peach's and my time out without the kids. As unexciting as that sounds, it's been our thing to do together.

So off we went, peach, pudge, gingo and I. We decided we'd shop for the clothes before the groceries. Gingo is just like me; very indecisive. She found lots of stuff that she liked, but wanted to keep looking just in case she found something better. I couldn't keep pudge away from the summer clearance clothing. She wanted to look at tank tops and flip flops. I told her I wasn't spending money on summer clothing as we were heading into fall.

I had been telling the girls all morning that I couldn't afford to buy them anything more than a pair of pants and a top to start school. Constantly cautioned them that if they bugged for more, they'd end up with nothing. Well, they were really good; I was the one who kept saying "oohh, look at this!" or "try this one on." In the end, after all was said and done, we spent over $200 on back to school clothes for the 2 of them. Their gift cards amounted to less then $20. George and Lou were working today, but I'm sure it'll hit the fan when they find out their sisters went out and bought new clothes while they got nothing.

After 3 stores for clothes shopping, we hurried to make the 3 stores we had to get to for grocery shopping. I was stressed, and now I'm pooped. The girls are thrilled with their new stuff. Peach and I both got a big hug and kiss from each of the girls and I 'thank you' which I appreciated. Sometimes I feel they get so much, that it's not truly appreciated. It meant a lot to me that they took that 30 seconds to acknowledge something they hadn't been expecting.

As stressed as I was, I also enjoyed the experience. As my girls get older, I know they'll need me less for things like shopping for clothes and won't always want my input or company.

I'll take what I can now, and enjoy it while it lasts.

A Cheater Post

Ok. This is my (hopefully, only one for the month) cheater post.

Was up early today to help Nana pack up and move furniture in preparation for the painters coming early next week. There was a full crew there today, so the work was completed in no time at all. After a few chores around our own house we were off to wee's for a bbq steak dinner.

A game and a half of cards later and I'm realizing I haven't left myself any time to get home and post for the day. So here I am on wee's computer (being rushed, I might add with her reading over my shoulder) trying to get something in quickly before midnight.

Had a good day today, and promise something better and more exciting tomorrow!

Today's Horoscope Said it Had to Happen.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)
The last thing you need now is an exercise in futility. If something just isn't possible, it isn't possible. Accept as much and don't worry. For you the outlook has never held forth more promise. A recent struggle simply had to happen.

I disagree.

There is never an excuse for violence. I just can't seem to get that through. It's OK to be mad. It's OK to be emotional. It's even OK to argue. But it's how you get mad; how you show your emotions and how you argue that is important. It's easy to get along when things are going well. It's how you treat each other when things aren't going so well that counts.

It will make or break a relationship.

In this case, it's breaking the relationship and you don't see it.

• You intentionally bully and scare someone you claim to love ....
• You use your vehicle as a weapon, endangering not only the one you claim to love and yourself - but also others; strangers who are not involved and absolutely should not pay the price for your rage ....
• You are constantly spouting off negative and derogatory comments and remarks to the one you claim to love ....
• You use fear, shame and guilt to overpower, and completely turn a situation around trying to justify your actions; saying you reacted the way you did because of the one you claim to love ....
• Constantly threaten the one you claim to love; threaten to hurt, threaten to shame, threaten violence - even threaten to bring harm to people and things that are important to the one you claim to love ....

It's all about control. And right now, you've got it all contrary to what you believe.

If this is how you love someone, you really should be ashamed.

There was no beautiful in my today.

Just terrorizing anger and paralyzing fear.

Does it count as a post, if I only post to say I have no post?

Beautiful Lyrics

You Heal Me
by The Wilkinsons

It’d be the height of understatement,

If I told you

this was all just luck.

Be the biggest lie I ever said,

If I told you

My world was full enough.

I was less then I am,

Lost and confused

Till you stumbled cross me and I fell into you

And you reveal me, for who I am inside
You conceal me, when I need a place to hide
When I'm broken
When I'm bruised
When my soul is black and blue
You pour out sweet love on me
And you heal me

It scares me when I think of all the times
I could have given in
You raise me up with just one touch
And set me back on my feet again
When the weight of this world starts dragging me down
One touch of your lips and it brings me around

And you reveal me, for who I am inside
You conceal me, when I need a place to hide
When I'm broken
When I'm bruised
When my soul is black and blue
You pour out sweet love on me
And you heal me You heal me

Oh oh

When I'm broken
When I'm bruised
When my soul is black and blue
You pour out sweet love on me
And you heal me
Yes you heal me

Watch the video on youtube now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9dcRSWCwKU

Beautiful September

So we've said farewell to August. I can't believe how fast another month has flown by. As I've probably mentioned we are approaching my favourite time of year. As we welcome September, and in keeping with NaBloPoMo's theme for the month I have to comment on the beautiful day we had today.

Sunshine and blue skies have a way of easing my stresses of daily life; makes me feel better. 5 kids; a husband; a full time job; a home; helping to care for aging family members .... it can all take a toll. I try (sometimes more successfully than others) to count my blessings daily; to appreciate that I have a strong, healthy family to love and that I am strong and healthy enough to care for. To be thankful for the job I have which allows me to live in the home I am proud of.

I am aware of the struggles of some of my (online and personal) friends, and I hold you close in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you too had some beautiful in your day today.

Sunshine is the promise for the rest of the week, and I'm going to enjoy every moment of it; before we know it the cold, dark, snowy winter will be upon us.

And so will Christmas - YAY!